Hey! How are you all doing? It’s time for yet another edition of the Esoterik News Of The Weekâ„¢. It’s the post thats assured to give everyone their fill of the corny, ridiculous, amazing and offbeat headlines permeating the news waves. Comments are made tongue-in-cheek, and are not meant to be taken too seriously. In fact this blog assumes no responsibility for said comments, and places the reponsibility square on the shoulders of the author, even if the author owns the aforementioned blog! Lets dive in…

Big deal… Officials have found more than that in Keith Richard’s system over the course of his lifetime!

My mind had a ball with this one! Um… sorry for the bad pun. This is one off-the-wall delicacy that I don’t think I’ll try anytime soon. And I’m known for being adventurous.

For those times when you have that “special urge”, and a live animal just won’t cut it… There are other stories, from this week, that gave me the creeping horrors worse than this one. But this deserves the offbeat label, with a rating of 11.5/10 on the Mark Foley scale of creepiness (thanks, Wil!). They want to put the guy through treatment! Newsflash, guys: if he killed a horse in 2005 with sexual intent, and he did something similar now, he’s far beyond any curing. Just lock him in a room with nothing but a bed and a slightly insane pit bull terrier. I guarantee the dog won’t take his advances with anything approaching kindness! Let ‘er rip!!

My advice to this couple is a simple solution: GET A CAT!! It’s either that, or you’ll be doomed to relive scenes straight out of “Tom And Jerry” cartoons until that mouse finally eats the big cheese. Sheesh!!

And finally, one for the video gamers everywhere…

This just shows the power of original thinking on Nintendo’s part. The Wii game system is something that makes video games more accessible to the older generation. And it breaks down more barriers than just that one: it’s also the most inexpensive game system out of the big three and it get kids to finally come up off the couch and move!

Well, that’s all I have for now. Tune in next week wherein, in addition to offbeat news, I get to interview a squirrel with really big cojoñes!

Wait!! I said last week that I’d tell a sad, sad tale of a bunny with a pancake on its head. Ok, ok… I’m sorry. I really don’t have a sad tale to tell. However, a picture is worth a thousand words of that tale, isn’t it?

Enjoy! Until next time, be assured that I’ll continue writing, even if both arms and all ten fingers are broken. Hey, where there’s a will and a nose, there’s a way! Cheers!

Technorati Tags: Esoterik, ABCNews, CNN, Bunny, Pancake, Deer, Dead Animals, Sheep, Cocaine, Wii, Nintendo

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 25th, 2007 at 6:00 pm and is filed under Esoterik News Of The Week. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.